A conversation can go wrong in many number of ways. When you’re talking with a friend, you know it’s casual enough that you can move on to a different topic some other time once your heads have cooled off. When you’re talking with your spouse and the conversation devolves to a senseless argument, however, there’s no such thing as just letting it go. The argument will haunt you and might even be one of the reasons you get divorced.
It’s happened in your past relationship and while there’s nothing saving it after your divorce attorney has already filed the necessary papers for divorce in Utah County, this doesn’t mean your future relationships are doomed as well. Learn to have a real conversation with your new partner to have better chances at a successful relationship.
Staying Focused
When your partner is talking to you about things they feel strongly about, they want your opinion, approval, or support. They might be insecure about their weight or worried about their performance at work. They could be going through a tough time and as their partner, you want to offer emotional support. You can’t do that if you’ve zoned out halfway through the conversation. You’re not only failing at showing support, but you’re also showing your spouse that they don’t matter enough for you to listen.
Neglect is one of the saddest reasons for divorce. If this has been the reason for your first marriage falling apart, be extra careful and learn to be attentive so that your new relationship doesn’t end in the same way.
Respecting Each Other’s Space
You’re in a relationship, but this doesn’t mean you have to give up your space. In the same vein, your partner should have their personal space too. When they want to be alone, this doesn’t mean they don’t love you anymore. You might feel this way if you’re projecting your insecurities onto the relationship, and that’s not fair to your current partner. If your previous spouse made you feel like needing time for yourself is a bad thing, communicate this with your partner and talk to them about how important it is for you to recharge by yourself. Communicating what you want in a relationship will help it grow into a mature and healthy union.
Minimizing Background Noise
No one expects that you’ll put your life on hold every time your partner wants to have a conversation, but you should know when a talk requires your full attention. Casual conversations can happen while you’re both on your phones or watching a movie together. Life-changing decisions, such as having a child or moving to a new house, need a little less background noise. The simple act of turning down the volume or pausing the movie you’re watching means a lot when your partner looks back at the conversation. You’re non-verbally telling them you want to listen to what they want to say and that you’re considering your options seriously. Shrugging off these important conversations means you’re not mature enough to keep a relationship alive for the long haul.
A secure relationship means you get to show your vulnerable sides to each other without being scared of how the other will react. Learn from your failed relationships to improve your new one.
